"this is not a solicitor or a collection agency, i'm calling to let you know that on the 26th of this month frank james is going to be hosting a dear creatures trunk show in honor of staying in business for a year in portland."
"shut up?! i thought they would have closed down a long time ago?!"
line goes dead.
"umm me too. but since they are still open you should go to this event. the dear creatures family is providing tons of goods to be sold the night of the event as well as a holiday preview."
"whatevs, i'll see if i can make it"
"alright you little whore we'll see you there"
*don't worry, we won't call you. please join us for this one! as well as TONS of dear creatures, you'll get a chance to see our remodel, all the new jeffrey campbell shoes and other great items to fill your closet this fall.